Chip Mom’s Epic Fails #3: Not-so-Pumpkin Roll

- Posted November 21st, 2016 by

This is a cautionary tale of baking in a hurry… at ten o’clock at night… with an adult beverage in your hand…

Not-so-Pumpkin Roll


Difficulty level:

Newb        |       Apprentice       |          Journeyman          |          Master

If your don’t forget the main ingredient, this whole thing should come out fine!

Quest Items:

1/2 Cup powdered sugar for towel
3/4 Cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 Cup sugar
2/3 Cup pumpkin

8 oz package of cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar
6 tablespoons of butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla

Musical Accompaniment:

This album is as delicious as this cake roll SHOULD have been -_-

Illustrated Guide:

It all started so promising!  Very normal.  Line and grease pan with all the butter and flour it.

 Wet ingredients in the mixer, dry ingredients in a bowl.  Beat until thick and fluffy!  Notice that sneaky can in the back?  yeah, we’ll get to that little jerk.


Add dry to wet and voila! Cake batter! Never mind that your baking spidey senses are tingling.  “This batter seems pretty thin, maybe a little short… OH WELL! Its supposed to be a roll!”


Bake in a preheated 375*F oven!


It was at this point that I saw the can on the counter.  I turned to President Hoodie, “I’ve made a mistake.”


While waiting to see exactly how epic my fail was, I went ahead and threw together the icing.  It’s literally all ingredients in the pool until is all smooth and fluffy. See that smug little jerk of a can still sitting there? Taunting me?


Powdered sugar on a towel!  It’ll keep the monstrosity from sticking when I flip the pan over onto it.


Flip, roll, cool!


It’s crunchy.  Protip: IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CRUNCHY.


I frosted it anyway because I made the frosting and it was delicious and maybe that’ll save the poor thing!


They say a picture speaks a thousand words.  ::sigh::


I will say that after an overnight in a sealed container, the cake soaked some of the moisture out of the icing and its become much more edible.  That said, I think I’ll try something different to take to the ‘rents for Thanksgiving.


For now, I’ll eat the results of my Epic Fail myself.  It’s a small victory.

Happy Thanksgiving to our USA readers!  To the rest, remember, Chip Mom luvs ya!

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