Chip Mom’s Kitchen #23: Red, White, and Blue Jello Salad

- Posted July 2nd, 2015 by

Greetings friends.  I’m about to go full midwest on you and show you exactly how to make a type of salad that involves tons of jello and sugar, but no lettuce.  Sounds about right for a proper ‘Murican Holiday Weekend, eh? So without further ado, I present for your consideration…

Red, White, and Blue Jello Salad

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Difficulty level:
Newb          |         Apprentice         |         Journeyman         |         Master

Suspend your disbelief for a moment. Yes, I am calling this a salad. Yes, its purdy darn easy to make. Yes, you’re going to have a hard time not sitting down with a spoon and a 9×13 and just finishing the thing.

Quest Items:
2 cups crushed pretzels (~240 g)
3/4 cup melted butter (180 g, melted)
3 tablespoons sugar, plus 3/4 cup sugar (38 g, plus 150 g)
1 8-ounce package of cream cheese (230 g)
1 8-ounce containter of whipped cream (230 g)
2 3-ounce packages of raspberry jello (small packages)
2 cups boiling water (240 mL)
1 10-ounce package of frozen raspberries (300 g)
1 10-ounce package of frozen blueberries (300 g)
MORE whipped cream for topping (optional)

Musical Accompaniment:

Illustrated Guide:

LET THE YUMMIES COMMENCE!

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We have three layers to complete.  The first is composed of your crushed pretzels, 3 Tbsp of sugar, and 3/4 cup butter – which, if you were sure, is a LOT of butter! Melt your butter in 30 sec increments in the microwave.  I mean, just look at that bowl.  This recipe might be Paula Deen‘s spirit animal.  Combine all of these ingredients in a bowl and stir together.

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When its thoroughly coated and combined, dump the pretzel mixture into the bottom of a greased 9 x 13 rectangular pan.  Make sure the pretzels are spread out evenly and then stick them in an oven preheated to 400*F/205*C for about 7 minutes.  This will melt the sugar, caramelize the butter, and fuse the crust together.  After your 7 minutes is up, take the pan out and let cool completely.

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While you wait for the pan to cool, give the tools you’ve used so far a quick clean.  I always recommend cleaning as you go.  It makes the final state of your kitchen so much more tolerable.  Especially when you’re like me and end up baking right up til bedtime!

The next layer is the sweet to spread on top of our crunchy pretzel crust.  In your mixer, combine cream cheese and 3/4 cup sugar until smooth.

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When your sugar mixture is nice and creamy, fold in the container of whipped cream.  “Folding” is a gently process of mixing that involves cutting through the center of your bowl and lifting the bottom of the contents up to the top instead of stirring in a circular motion.  Stirring can cause you to loose the fluff inherent in the whipped cream, so I definitely recommend you use the folding technique instead (though it will take a bit longer).

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When your mixture is completely combined, spread it on top of the pretzel layer.  Make sure to get it all the way to each edge.

Place the pan into the fridge to set the second layer.

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After 15 – 20 minutes, pull out your pan and prepare your jello.  I microwave my water to “boiling”; it usually takes about 30 seconds for one cup of water to reach 110*F, so I put my two cups in for a minute and a half.  Notice the stick? That’s because boiling water in the microwave can actually be explosively dangerous if you don’t break the surface tension of the container somehow.  The stick gives a place for bubbles to form in case I do surpass the boiling point in the microwave (aka it gives the pressure a way to escape that doesn’t involve it overflowing all over my hand when I move it).

Pour the nearly-boiling water over your gelatin and stir to dissolve completely.  Then add your frozen fruit.  This decreases the temp of the gelatin very quickly.  Stir in the frozen fruit until you feel the bowl go cold, and you’ll start to notice the jello thickening to about the consistency of an egg white (yummy visual image, I know).  Pour this over the top of your white layer, and return to the fridge until set.  I just left mine in over night.

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Obligatory glamour shot of finished product.

After the jello is set, it is time to feast!  My piece lasted a whole 45 seconds.

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And there you have it.  The only dish American enough to be made of jello and sugar, yet still have the audacity to call itself a salad!  I hope you enjoyed this edition of Chip Mom’s Kitchen.  Happy cooking, all, and remember: Mama Luvs Ya!

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