Chip Mom’s Kitchen #25: In Soviet Russia, You Eat Vampire!

- Posted October 26th, 2015 by

Greetings, my little ghouls, spooks, and warlocks! It is once again the time of year to celebrate the spookier side of life: HALLOWEEN! And in honor of this auspicious time of year, I’m delighted to present to you a simple sweet treat sure to delight at any of your upcoming festivities:

Dracula Teeth Cookie Sandwiches

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Difficulty level:

Newb        |        Apprentice        |          Journeyman          |          Master

From scratch cookies, frosting to stain your hands blood red, and possible demon summoning (not really…I think)

Quest Items:

2 1/4 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 softened sticks of butter
2 eggs

Red Vanilla Frosting
Slivered Almonds
Mini Marshmallows

Bowls, pans, spoons, etc

Musical Accompaniment:

Illustrated Guide:

In order to make this recipe as easy as possible for those folks who have last-minute plans, I seriously considered buying the pre-made cookie dough.  It was in my cart. But ultimately, I just couldn’t do it. You deserve better, ChipRealm. You deserve homemade!

So with that in mind, gather up what should, by now, be the usual suspects of baking in your fine kitchen:

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Your dry ingredients (flour, baking soda, and salt) are placed in a bowl and set aside.  The wet stuff (with the exception of eggs) gets prepared for immediate creaminess. For me, that means my trusty KitchenAid!

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After the butter, sugars, and vanilla are mixed til smooth, the eggs go in for a dip!

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Mix again until everything is incorporated!  Then, the messy part.  Your dry ingredients go in bit by bit.  Do this gradually or beware of the giant flour poof, which will turn you and everything within three feet of your mixer a ghostly white!

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After everything has come together, mix in your chips until they are evenly dispersed throughout the cookie dough.  Now is when you really should eat a spoonful or two. Ya know, just to make sure it all turned out alright.

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Spoon your dough onto cookie sheets and baking in a preheated oven at 375*F for about 9 to 11 minutes, depending how crunchy you like your cookies.  I’m on Team Chewy, myself, so mine were in for exactly 9 minutes a batch.

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When they come out of the oven, they should be golden brown.  Let them rest for two minutes on the cookie sheet before moving them to a rack to cool.

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When the cookies are completely cool (this is important, warm cookies means your frosting melts and the cookie absorbs it) take a few off the cooling rack and cut them in half so that you have matching half circles.  These pieces will become your jaws.

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Flip over your jaws and add a reasonable thick layer of red frosting. I opted for canned frosting here because, in all honesty, achieving that vivid of a red is difficult to do unless you invest in high quality gel food coloring.  There isn’t enough cheap liquid coloring in the grocery store to make it happen.

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After smearing your jaws with their deliciously blood red gum layer, line up your marshmallows by twos along the curve of the cookie (start in the middle and work your way out so that they have a symmetrical set like real teeth).  I then added two or three marshmallows for structural integrity behind the row of “teeth”.  Flip over your top jaw to complete the sandwich, and carefully place two slivers of almonds for that final “I want to suck your blood!” touch.

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Voalá! Creepy, delicious, and bloody.  What else could you want in a Halloween treat?  Remember to bring a dozen to your party!  And also remember: Chip Mom loves ya!

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